Bond Court – Assembly Line Justice

Bond court is depressing…not that being in a criminal courtroom isn’t usually depressing on some level, but bond court is just a meatpacking plant of justice.

To watch a bond court hearing is to wonder whether anyone is listening to each other. Now, I’ll give the judges the benefit of the doubt here…but I frequently wonder whether anything I’m saying means a damn thing.

The traditional bond court hearing involves each side making their case to the judge as to what bond should be set at. The actual length of time of your average bond court hearing? Less than five minutes. I understand that there are hundreds of these a day and the judge is not going to get into your life story. But these hearings are pro forma, to say the least.

First the state goes…and they’ll do two things. Read off your prior conviction record and whether you’ve ever failed to come to court…and what you’re charged with. If it’s violent, good luck. If it it involves a weapon, also good luck. If you’ve failed to appear before a judge before, good luck. If you’re currently on bond, then even more luck my friend, because you probably aren’t getting out, unless you have a serious bank roll.

Then I go. What do I do for you? I tell them that you have “long standing ties to the community.” This means your family lives here, you graduated from high school here, you’ve been here more than 5 years or so, and have a reason to stay. I’m here to try to convince the judge that you’re not a flight risk (or a danger to the community). If you’ve been a shooting rampage, or are a serial rapist, no hope for you. But usually, if your crime isn’t violent you should get a bond between $500 and $5000.

Now, Illinois does not have bail bondsmen. Only four states in the county do not, and we are one of them. What this means is that you put up 10% of the bond, if you get a D bond (detainer). There are also I-Bonds and recognizance bonds, neither of which require you to pay anything. We’re talking about D bonds here. You put up your 10% (say the bond is $20,000D, you put up $2000) and then, if you keep coming to court, you will get it back at the end of the trial. Oh, the county will keep 10% of that, thank you, for their own purposes.

Here’s the thing. If you’re at 26th and California, you might only “appear” in the courtroom on a closed circuit TV. Same thing at 555 W. Harrison (the domestic abuse court). Your lawyer, if you haven’t hired one already, knows little about you, even less if they’re a public defender. The whole proceeding is over in a flash, and the judge just throws out the amount of the bond. You, the defendant, are going to be either upset, or happy, or confused.

My clients rarely call me in time to make a bond hearing. Unless you get arrested with a family member, or were carrying my card already, how can you get a hold of me? I frequently find myself dashing all over the county trying to find clients whose family members have called me the day of their bond hearing. This is usually too late.

The lesson to be learned is this. There are no miracles worked at a bond hearing. Not your initial one. Later, your attorney can petition the court to lower the bond…and I’d say the success rate at this is about 65%. Better than half the time it happens, but it all depends on what you, the defendant, did.

The Roots of My White Sox Fandom

I am a White Sox fan. I live within walking distance of Wrigley Field. I never cheered for the White Sox prior to 2005. I never paid attention to American League baseball with the exception of when I lived with a few Bostonians in college. Here’s why.

I moved to Chicago in 2005 after law school. Upon arrival, one of my best friends from college, Mike, shortly thereafter moved back to Chicago from Washington D.C. He was a lifelong Sox fan. In a bit of a sad story, his dad, who died in a plane crash when Mike was very young, was a Sox fan, and Mike carries that fandom forward. When I arrived in Chicago, Mike made it very clear. There are no fence sitters in this town. Pick a side. North or South. Sox or Cubs.

Now, growing up I had a complicated relationship with baseball. My dad was an excellent baseball player and played Little League at a very competitive level in Chicago on the south side. He grew up in Evergreen Park and went to Brother Rice Academy, played baseball all throughout and still plays on the same softball team he joined 20 years ago in my home town.

I was expected to play Little League. I thought I had to be good at Little League. I sucked. I was afraid of the ball. I couldn’t keep my head in the game. I wasn’t particularly big, strong or tall. I’m relatively fast, and to this day, I’m a decent outfielder. But I’m a terrible batter. I did two seasons of Little League, and I was out.

I got into baseball cards as a kid, but not really baseball. I grew up in Wisconsin not far from Milwaukee and was a Brewers fan. Paul Molitor, Robin Yount, I remember Molitor’s 39-game hit streak in ‘87. But I wasn’t a diehard Brewers fan. Didn’t go to a lot of games, and completely stopped paying attention to them between 1996 – 2004, my college years, as the Badgers took up all my sports interest and the Brewers sucked.

Something happened as I got closer to 30. All the talk of strategy and how baseball was a lot more complicated than it looked, suddenly I saw it all. I also started actually going to games more often (5 or 6 a season) and enjoyed that aspect of it far more as well. The pace didn’t bother me now that I wasn’t an addled adolescent. I realized that baseball was perfectly pitched to my sensibilities.

Mike made a compelling case. Although I can usually see both sides of an argument, I knew that when it came to this, I couldn’t wuss out. Pick a side. Mike sold me on the South Siders. Their history of not sucking, their more working class roots, and the fact that they weren’t that shabby that season. Turns out he was right. I wasn’t really bandwagoning, but it sure was nice that the first season I rooted for the White Sox, they won the World Series.

Two full seasons since, it’s still all good. Sure they sucked last year, but this year, they’re looking good. First in a division that many predicted to be the toughest in the AL, but so far has fallen far short of expectations. Decent pitching from Vazquez, Contreras and Floyd, along with an up and down Buhrle. Swisher has underperformed and the usual MASH unit of Konerko is a disappointment. But new players have stepped in (Quentin) and the bullpen has been on lockdown.

Now, the Sox and Cubs, both in first place, are in the Cross Town Classic. As I write this, Cubs and Sox are tied at 3 a piece in the bottom of the 8th. Goddamn, I love this game.

The Secretary of State (of Illinois)

I did an informal hearing this afternoon with a client of ours to get a temporary driving permit. This is done with the Secretary of State, the executive branch bureaucracy responsible for your license (aka The DMV).

This is not a fun…nor normal legal experience. Namely because I, the attorney, do most of the work for you beforehand. I prep you as to the right answers, the right demeanor and the best way to put your case forward. But during the hearing, I just sit there and try to clarify any answers my inarticulate client puts forth.

The office I went to was the Chicago West office, on 5301 W. Lexington. This is the DMV visible from I-290 as you head into (or out of) the city. Our hearing officer, a wizened old lady with tobacco stained fingers, spoke too loudly for the confined environment, and would alternately take a harsh, Spanish Inquisition style attitude, and then a kindly, if slightly soused, grandmotherly tone.

My client was great. He’s a simple guy, has a job boarding up houses after fires / Acts of God and needs this permit to work. He has a decent case, but a slightly shady driving record (and mostly while on the job rushing to a job site). Also, he’s got a history of drinking, which he rather too freely admitted to.

Still, he was very polite, lots of “Yes, ma’ams” and honest-to-goodness awshucksiness.

The real kicker to the whole proceeding? The Cross Town Classic is going on RIGHT NOW at Wrigley…and this old crone was listening to Rush Limbaugh. Jesus.